For years I struggled to get pregnant with our second child. We had gone through all kinds of testing, and we couldn’t get any answers as to why. After years passed, I began to let go of hope. I began to try and convince myself that a promise I believed
He had given me wasn’t really for me. More years passed, and my husband and I decided that if we couldn’t conceive naturally that we were going to adopt. What happened next is crazy.
I received a phone call from a woman who had heard that we wanted to adopt! We had never met her, but had mutual connections. She went on to tell us about a four year old boy that was going to be put up for adoption. In that moment, my whole world changed! I thought that this was it – everything that we had prayed for was happening! After many visits and prayer, we decided to bring this little guy in our home for a week to see how he would do with our family. During this week, I quickly begin to see why I had the desire for another child! The week was full of constant prayer for this little guy and the future of our family. When praying, I couldn’t shake this feeling that we weren’t supposed to move forward with his adoption. I honestly didn’t want to admit this, because I believed this was my promise, that this was the future I had waited for. The week quickly came to the end, and we didn’t move forward with his adoption.That was one of the hardest moments in my life. After years of waiting and praying, I knew we couldn’t be that family for him. I was heartbroken. During this time, I heard God repetitively asking me to trust Him. To really trust Him in my future and to trust that He is really for me and not against me. To lean not on my own understanding, but His. To fully trust Him and know that no matter what, He has my back. God always makes a way, even if we can’t see the path. I can confidently say that when we let go and let God, He is faithful everytime.
A few short weeks later we found out that our nine years of waiting and trusting led to a miracle! Our daughter was born three years ago, and she is a constant reminder to trust the Lord in all things!
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight”-Proverbs 3:5-7
Father, I welcome You to be Lord over every area of my life. I surrender all of my dreams, plans, and understanding to You. In doing this I trust that You will make my paths straight, even the paths I cannot see. Show me areas that I am still trying to control and keep from You. Help me to release these areas into Your mighty hands. You are big enough to take them, and You are good, so I know you will handle them with care. Thank You for loving me. In Jesus name, Amen.