“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” – Psalms 91:1-2 NIV
Life doesn’t seem fair when your four-month-old baby boy is diagnosed with leukemia. It is something that absolutely brings your world as you know it crashing down. You question why this had to happen to him and to your family. You plead with God to turn back time.
Those first few days of being in the hospital with him will forever be etched into my mind – the emotions, the feelings of helplessness, that “hospital” smell, the friends and family who came to see us…I distinctly remember the moment of realization that leukemia meant cancer. Fear of what the future held for us began to take over my thoughts. Feelings of anger crept up at times that we were having to go through this.
A few days after we arrived at the hospital, I woke up one morning with a peace and determination that I know only God could give me. In that moment, I surrendered my fears to Him. Never has my faith been tested or strengthened more than it has this last year. There are many scripture verses handwritten and placed on the wall in our hospital room, among which is Psalms 91:1-2. God knew I would need these visual reminders of His word on a daily basis. When fear tries to take over, His word is there to remind me of his promises. He placed people in our lives who would be there in our time of need to carry us through and remind us of His goodness. As hard as this journey has been, the proof that God has been with us every step of the way is undeniable.
He will carry us through our darkest hours and give us the strength we need, but we must place our trust in Him. He is the light in the darkness.
Prayer: Jesus, the ways of this world are difficult to understand, but you bled and died on the cross, suffering all pain, so that we never would have to face the darkest of storms alone. Even in the midst of the most painful season, you are there to carry me. Help me to take refuge in you through it all, knowing that you will give me strength and peace that surpasses all understanding. In Your powerful name, Amen.